Kitties and Decepticons
by ChibiStarr
Summary: Cyclonus has a new pet. A pet that should not be allowed in the Decepticon base, yet Demolishor decides to help out anyway, but keeping a pet both hidden under control may be harder than the two Decepticons think.
1. Unexpected

**A/N:** This was just some random idea that popped into my head this morning and, well, to put it bluntly I became obsessed with it. Set in Armada-verse, although at what time I have no clue. I also have no clue if I'll ever finish this, since this story was spawned randomly. So, just have fun reading it!

* * *

Demolishor scowled at the monitor in front of him, his optics fixed on the screen. Why did he have to pay attention to the human news again? Oh right, because Megatron said that the humans, however stupid they might be, could potentially give out some information that may be valuable to the Transformers, whether the fleshbags knew it or not. Such as suspicious activity that could be Autobots at work, or anything pointing to the location of a Mini-Con. And of course Demolishor had to be the one who had this particular job dumped on him. True, he was good at monitor duty, but even the loyal Decepticon could see that it was largely a waste of time yet he still carried it out because he was entirely too loyal to say otherwise. Such was his life, he supposed.

It wouldn't have been so bad except for the fact that the Decepticons had recently gotten back a from a battle. A battle that they lost. Demolishor was the only one not horrible injured because he hadn't been an idiot and stepped into the obvious Autobot trap. Not that Megatron was an idiot, of course, he had simply been paying too much attention arguing with Starscream and had not noticed the trap until too late. Stupid Starscream, distracting Megatron like that.

Demolishor rubbed a particularly sore spot in the crook of his left arm. A shot had only clipped it, thankfully, but it still stung even after an hour of it happening. The tank found it even more interesting than the human news channel, as odd as that was. The humans were only talking about (vague) descriptions of some commotion going on inside of an abandoned factory and odd lights being seen through the windows of the factory. Really all of their theories were way off and it was almost sickening to see how ignorant the humans could be sometimes.

"Um, Demolishor?"

For once Demolishor was glad for Cyclonus' timely interruption. He was slightly puzzled by Cyclonus' voice though; he would have called it timid if it were anyone else. Curious, he swiveled his chair to face him. The gunner was leaning around the doorway, only half of him visible. In the length of a second he quickly swept his gaze over Cyclonus' body, making sure that his injuries were healing up properly. There were visible weld marks and patches of newer-looking armor that covered up burn marks, but other than that he looked relatively fine.

Cyclonus caught Demolishor's examination, as brief as it was. He grinned, his mouth shaking just a little. "Hey, relax Demolishor. I wasn't that bad, I had Megs and Screamer in front of me to take most of the hits."

Demolishor growled just a little when he heard Cyclonus say "Megs" in front of Megatron. The helicopter had an annoying habit of making up nicknames for everyone he knew, and so far Demolishor had the most, which he wasn't quite sure was a good thing or not. "What do you want?" He asked.

Cyclonus grinned and ducked his head, suddenly very interested in scraping his pede against the floor. He shuffled into the doorway a little more, and Demolishor noticed that his arms were hidden behind his back. The action faintly alarmed Demolishor and he waited tensely for Cyclonus to answer him. After a few very long moments Cyclonus looked up again, but he wore an expression that was...sheepish, for lack of a better word. But that couldn't possibly be right because Cyclonus was _never_ sheepish. Ever. "Could I, um, borrow a box or something from you Demolishor?" He asked. Was that uncertainty in his tone?

Normally Demolishor would have not thought much of it. But he was far from stupid, and definitely knew something was up. First off, Cyclonus was never sheepish. Second, Cyclonus was _never_ uncertain about anything. The request was not wholly unusual, Demolishor would have assumed Cyclonus was using it for one of his stupid pranks if he saw the telltale mischievous glint in the gunner's optics, which was not present now. "Sure thing." Demolishor said and watched Cyclonus' shoulders slump with - relief? "What for?" His suspicious were only doubled as Cyclonus stiffened at the question.

"Um...well, y'see..." Cyclonus trailed off. He cleared his air vents and looked like he wanted to start again, but was fumbling for the right words. "I erm, need to use it."

Demolishor rolled his optics. "No slag, dumaft." He snapped, causing Cyclonus to grin. "What do you need it for?" Once again Cyclonus' grin faded. Demolishor would have sworn to Primus that the mech looked nervous. Cyclonus stayed silent for so long that Demolishor was wondering if he was deliberately not answering him or just couldn't find the right words to say. Demolishor might have just stared him down if he didn't notice Cyclonus' arms shift a little, still hidden behind his back. Cyclonus was trying to be discreet about it, but Demolishor had a quick optic for things. In an instant Demolishor knew he friend was hiding something from him.

"Hey, what the Pit Demolishor?" Cyclonus demanded and he was suddenly dragged fully into the room by the tank. He had been looking at the floor and had not noticed Demolishor get up until Demolishor was standing right in front of him.

Ignoring Cyclonus' outburst, Demolishor smacked his hand against the door panel, shutting the door with a loud clang that made Cyclonus flinch. Pushing a button, he locked the door and then turned his gaze fully onto Cyclonus. "Cyclonus, what's going on?" He asked in a low voice, his optics dark with seriousness.

"N-nothing!" Cyclonus stammered, very unnerved from the look Demolishor was giving him. For some reason, the tank's mismatched optics were the creepiest part, making him look all alien and bug-eyed. One optic was narrowed into a slit and the bigger one glared at him full force. Suddenly Demolishor stepped up real close to him, so they were only inches apart. Startled, Cyclonus tried to back away, but met the wall after half a step. "I swear it's nothing Demolishor!"

Far from stupid, and knowing his comrade far too well, Demolishor knew perfectly well when he was being lied to. "What's behind your back?" he asked, reaching around Cyclonus' waist.

"No!" Cyclonus yelped twisting away and stumbling to the side. Demolishor quickly caught him by pinning him against the wall. "No! You'll crush it!" Cyclonus shouted, his optics filled with...fear? What the hell?

"Crush what?" Demolishor demanded, the anger in his voice falling a little flat in his confusion. Seeing Cyclonus fearful was like...was like seeing Megatron break into the Caramelldansen or watching Starscream be nice. Now he was a little curious, despite himself. What could have Cyclonus so strung up?

The gunner glanced around, as if afraid of being heard. Stupid, of course, but he did it anyway. "Will you not tell anyone?" He asked in a low voice.

_That_ made Demolishor suspicious all over again. If it was something Cyclonus didn't want anyone to know about it couldn't possibly be good. "What is it?" He demanded again.

"Promise you won't tell anyone!" Cyclonus shot back, taking a tiny step back.

Demolishor sighed. "I promise," he muttered. Curiosity and alarm were warring against each other in his head, and much to his anger curiosity was winning. He was spending far too much time with Cyclonus.

Cyclonus echoed Demolishor's sigh. "All right," he said shakily, then took a breath as if to steel himself, then brought his hands out and held the thing in front of him.

Demolishor felt his optics widen and his jaw drop. He had no idea what he had been expecting, but it was certainly _not_ what Cyclonus was currently holding. He probably expected it to be some weird and dangerous object Cyclonus had made or collected again, or something highly illegal, or even a bomb, since all of those had a slight possibility of ending up in Cyclonus' possession. But he was totally floored by the thing looking at him from his friends arms. He worked his mouth for a few seconds, but it took his vocal circuits a moment to make a semi-coherent sentence. "_What_ - _is _- _that?"_ Were the words he finally managed to gasp out, pointing at the furry mammal in front of him.

Cyclonus looked faintly alarmed at Demolishor's reaction, but he seemed to relax since the yelling or lecturing that he had expected to receive was currently not forthcoming. He looked at the thing in his arms, his gaze oddly affectionate. "I think the flesh creatures call it a 'cat'." He answered, scratching the creature between the ears.

It took a few moments for Demolishor to close his jaw. He stared at the creature, all the while wondering how Cyclonus got it, how he managed to sneak it into the ship without it being noticed, and most importantly why he wanted to keep the thing in the first place. "How did you get it? From what I know, Earth felines are not supposed to be this big." He pointed at the cat again, and his finger got sniffed by it. The cat was indeed huge, it had grown to the size a cat would be compared to a human if the humans were Transformer sized. It had a white and orange fur coloring with wide golden eyes. However, even in its giant size, it seemed rather small for an Earth cat. Why in the world-

"Err, well, I uh, found it." Cyclonus explained, once again fumbling for words. Demolishor did not even need to say anything, he just gave Cyclonus a look that perfectly voice his opinion of the statement. Cyclonus sniggered before going on. "Yeah...y'know that thing we were tryin' to build today? That thingy that was supposed to increase the size of the Mini-Cons so we could use them as soldiers?"

"Yes," Demolishor answered, his mind already knowing where Cyclonus was going with this. "But it was destroyed, remember?"

Cyclonus bobbed his head in a nod. "Yeah, it was, since the three of us got caught in that trap and you were off in the back doing somethin'. Anyways, this thing probably wandered into it before it exploded and got itself super-sized."

For the crazy ideas Cyclonus cooked up, that one sounded fairly plausible. Demolishor nodded, not exactly thinking over Cyclonus' words (not yet anyway) and instead focused on the cat. Oddly it seemed to not mind being held the least bit, Demolishor was hardly an expert in the feelings of felines but he would have sworn that the cat actually looked pleased with all of the attention it was getting. The cat stretched out one creamy white paw and gently tapped the tank's wrist with it, freaking him out. "Aww, it likes you Demolishor!" Cyclonus cooed, rubbing the cat's head and giggling. Demolishor was once again alarmed by his friend's actions. He looked at Cyclonus' face and almost fainted; the gunner had a smile etched on his lips, not mocking or mischievous, just a small, affectionate smile. His optics were a warm green that glowed with an emotion Demolishor had never seen before and never expected to see.

_Oh slag_. Demolishor thought as he watched Cyclonus. His friend was completely and utterly won over with the cat. Adoration and love showed clearly on his face, making Demolishor's insides knot tightly. Cyclonus made a few incoherent noises, stroking and petting the cat like it was a sparkling.

Not good. Not good at _all._

"Sooo, the box Demolishor?" Cyclonus asked, breaking Demolishor out of his thoughts.

"Hmm?" Demolishor asked, unwittingly saying the first thing that popped into his head.

Cyclonus sighed and rolled his optics. "The _box_ Demmy, the box I asked you for. Can I have it?"

Demolishor didn't really know what to do. Keeping the cat was not the best of ideas, but he couldn't find it in his spark to tell his friend no. Or rather, he couldn't tell the cat no, not when it had those huge eyes and those cute little ears - _No, no, NO! Stop that RIGHT NOW!_ His inner voice screamed, destroying those dangerous thoughts immediately. "Um, sure you can Cyclonus."

Cyclonus gave a little 'squee' noise that Demolishor thought was entirely impossible to make, since he had only seen teenage human females capable of producing such a squealing noise. He looked very much like he wanted to hug Demolishor, but he still had the kitty in his arms and did no such thing. "Thanks Demmy!" The helicopter shouted, running out of the room to no doubt invade Demolishor's. He almost forgot to hide the cat again. Demolishor was left staring at the closing door, wondering if he just did the right thing.

* * *

**Note:** Oddly enough, I can completely envision Cyclonus squeeing like a anime Japanese schoolgirl. As for why the cat seemed "rather small" in its enlarged size, it's barely older than a kitten, which was probably why Cyclonus couldn't resist it.


	2. Snuggles

**A/N: **Wow, thanks for all of the positive comments! I didn't expect this to be received so well, and all of the favorites and alerts make me smile. So just for you guys, I added chapter two today, since I had been planning to type it up tomorrow. Enjoy. :) (I don't own Transformers and blah blah.)

["Mini-Con speech"]

And I'm sorry if things aren't correctly capitalized, my Shift key's acting up again.

* * *

After a minute or two of staring dumbly at the door, wondering just how right his decision was, Demolishor stepped out of it and followed the path Cyclonus took. He knew he would get in trouble for abandoning his monitor duty, but with any luck Megatron and Starscream would be stuck in the repair bay for quite some time, leaving Demolishor and Cyclonus to their own devices until they were repaired enough to start walking around again. The fact that Cyclonus was now free to do whatever he wanted unchecked terrified Demolishor and he quickly decided that he would be the one to make sure Cyclonus didn't do something incredibly stupid during their commanding officers' absence. As usual.

He knew already where Cyclonus would be. In Demolishor's quarters, since for some odd reason no matter how many times Demolishor changed the codes to his door Cyclonus would still find some way to get in. Demolishor was grudgingly forced to put up with it and thank Primus that Cyclonus rarely found a reason to poke into Demolishor's room unannounced and uninvited. But now he had a reason, namely to get that box, presumably for his newfound kitten. _Wait a moment, I never told Cyclonus where to look - oh _slag. Demolishor thought before breaking out into a run in the middle of the hallway, already knowing he was too late.

He heard the commotion long before he came to his door. In fact, he could hear it a hall down with his door _closed._ It was the sound of multiple and rapid bangings that often varied in pitch and volume. Demolishor had heard it quite a lot coming from Cyclonus' quarters, and now he was terrified of finding out what was going on in _his_ quarters. But he told himself that it was better to watch Cyclonus and be a potential target than ignore the helicopter and let him do whatever he wanted unsupervised. So, he took a deep breath to steel himself and walked into his quarters.

And was almost immediately beheaded by an axe flying by his face and burying itself a few inches to the right of his head. It was an axe Demolishor never used and kept more its symbolic reasons than to fight, and the tank at once felt an all consuming annoyance for Cyclonus, which flamed up all the more when he took in the mess Cyclonus was making of him room. The Decepticon had put the cat on the top shelf of Demolishor's desk and was currently digging through Demolishor's storage closet, throwing everything that wasn't a box carelessly behind him. Somehow the cat had avoided getting hit so far, even if every other conceivable object was landing inches from it. It cowered on the edge of the shelf, it's ears flat against its head. It looked up as Demolishor came in and let out a pathetic mew that was almost lost in the noise Cyclonus was making.

"Demolishor! Where's the stupid box?" Cyclonus demanded, not even turning around. He threw a handful of spare parts behind his back as he spoke, not caring where they landed.

The tank growled and yanked the axe out of the wall and set it carefully on the desk next to his berth before answering. "Look on the top shelf idiot," he snapped, his irritation showing in his words. As usual, Cyclonus seemed to not notice Demolishor's anger and instead stood on the tips of his pedes to look around the top of the closet.

Sighing and shaking his head, Demolishor craned his head up to look at the cat. It looked back at him, it's yellow eyes wide and fearful. It was shivering, Demolishor could tell, and his sharp eyes could see that its claws were digging into the shelf. Maybe it was afraid of heights? Unwilling to leave the creature in such a pitiful state, the Decepticon reached up and grabbed the creature as gently as he could, cursing when its legs flailed and its claws scratched his wrist. He quickly set it on the desk, making sure it didn't touch the axe, and glared at it. The cat stared back, its pitiful eyes seeming to take up its entire face. Demolishor had to wonder at those eyes, they were oddly cute, in a way. He watched it as it stopped shivering and blinked, realizing it was no longer almost touching the ceiling. He felt a smile threatening to make itself known at the creature confusion. Then, it looked right at Demolishor and mewed.

Demolishor was fairly certain at that moment he would have melted on the spot if a datapad had not bounced off his head, effectively distracting him from the cat that was far too adorable for its own good. For the second time that day he was glad for Cyclonus' timely and unintentional interruption, for he managed to quickly bury his treacherous thoughts and instead picked up the datapad, feeling around his helm for a dent. Cyclonus' "AHA!" made both him and the cat jump in fright and he turned to see Cyclonus dragging a large box out of the closet, scattering a dozen other things around the room as he did. The gunner wore a ridiculously triumphant look on his face and he set it down on Demolishor's berth.

"What the heck do you need that for anyway?" Demolishor asked, picking up as few of the things of the floor and tossing them back into their proper places.

"Well I gotta keep him somewhere!" Cyclonus shot at him, making sure the box was empty before he picked up the cat. It let out a mew as it was grabbed and set in the box. Its ears barely showed above the box and it was forced to put its paws on the edge of the box to peer around. "Aww, isn't he adorable?" Cyclonus cooed again, rubbing the cat's head again. "Thanks Demolishor. Me n' Snuggles appreciate it." He said, for once sounding sincere.

"Yeah, yeah. Just take it and get - wait, what did you say?" Demolishor demanded, his tone immeasurably confused.

Cyclonus turned around, also confused. "What? Snuggles?" Demolishor nodded mutely. "That's what his name is! I call him Snuggles because he likes snuggling. See?" He picked up the cat and cuddled it to his chest for effect. The feline promptly mewed and buried itself deeper in Cyclonus' arms.

It felt a little like Demolishor had just been hit in the head with a brick. _Oh Primus, he's _naming_ the thing. He's getting far too attached. Next thing you know he'll be petting it and cooing nonsense at it like it's some sort of sparkling...oh wait he already is._ He sighed mentally and watched the duo with a small amount of pity in his gaze, wondering just how long it would be before Megatron found out about this. Cyclonus put Snuggles back inside the box and picked it up, heading for the door. "What are you going to do now?" Demolishor asked as Cyclonus managed to open the door with one hand.

"Um, I dunno, feed him or somethin'." Cyclonus answered, skittering out the door before it shut. Sensing a golden opportunity for hours of amusement, Demolishor followed him and this time couldn't keep the grin off his face. Besides, he didn't want to clean up the royal mess Cyclonus had made of his room just yet.

"How do you know it's a male?" Demolishor asked as Cyclonus kicked the door panel to his room to open the door, adding another dent to the much abused panel.

He heard Cyclonus' snort ahead of him. "I know more about the organics than you may think Demolishor." The helicopter said cryptically as he entered his living quarters, kicking a stack of datapads out of his way. His room did not look much different than Demolishor's at the moment, stuff was strewn everywhere, most of it kicked into the corners after presumably being stepped on and then kicked in irritation. One of the bookcases was dominated by a vast array of knick-knacks, objects, and other odd things that Cyclonus had collected from Cybertron and Earth over the years; the gunner was like a jackdaw, collecting anything that interested him until he had hordes of mostly useless and odd things heaped in his room. Sometimes all the things had to be were shiny for Cyclonus to keep it. Quickly traversing his room, Cyclonus set the box on his berth, which seemed to be the only clear surface in the entire room.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Demolishor asked, folding his arms over his chest. He leaned sideways into the doorframe, taking in the helicopter's room with some amazement, which was not unusual.

To his surprise, he saw Cyclonus duck his head and mutter something that sounded like "Internet" before he turned to Demolishor. "You gonna stand there all day?" He asked. Changing the subject was his way of announcing that he was uncomfortable with the current topic of conversation, something Demolishor could pick up well. He decided not to press Cyclonus, promising to do that later when there was a more appropriate time.

"You haven't invited me in." Demolishor teased, a smirk showing itself when he saw Cyclonus roll his optics so hard it looked like it hurt. The tank was nowhere near as rude as Cyclonus and hardly ever went barging into a room like his friend did. However, that may have also been because he had been promoted to general very early in the war and was therefore expected to behave like a general, and some form of politeness and etiquette was required and Demolishor never quite managed to break himself of the habits he had honed over the many millions of years.

"Just get in here already," Cyclonus growled in his own irritation, dragging Demolishor in and slamming the door closed. Twiddling his fingers together, he paced up and down, occasionally glancing at Snuggles.

Demolishor watched him in amusement, settling himself into the chair by Cyclonus' desk. He also watched Snuggles, who seemed to be trying to get out of the box. He was largely unsuccessful, his tiny paws unable to get a decent grip and as a result he kept falling back with a thump. Demolishor bit his lip to keep himself from snickering at the sight of the determined kitten tackling the box over and over. Eventually though, he somehow managed to unwittingly tip over the box and therefore sent himself tumbling out in a white and orange ball of fur. Demolishor almost lost it when he saw Snuggles' utterly confused expression, a laugh rose and died in his throat. How in the world could an earth mammal convey expressions so easily. "Hey Cyclonus, your cat's loose." He said, jerking Cyclonus out of his thoughts.

"Oh, let him run about." Cyclonus replied with a dismissive wave of his hand. "He's gotta get used to the room sometime." He patted the cat's head, and seconds later the second occupant of Cyclonus' rooms came in.

["Hey Cyclonus,"] Crumplezone walked in, looking around. ["Do you have any idea where I put my - OH MY PRIMUS _HEEEELLLP_!"] His casual question had turned into a scream of terror as he was promptly bowled over by a creature bigger than he was and two very large paws were pinning him down.

"No Snuggles! Bad kitty!" Cyclonus shouted, making a leap of his own and dragging the cat off his Mini-Con. Demolishor stared, completely unaware that a cat could move so fast. Then he was up and helping Crumplezone to his feet and setting the blue Mini-Con on the desk, where he was out of Snuggles' reach.

["Do I look like I'm alright?"] Crumplezone shouted at Demolishor's inquiry to his health. ["That - that _thing_ just attacked me! What the Pit are you doing Cyclonus, keeping a dangerous animal in here?"]

"Snuggles isn't dangerous," Cyclonus argued, setting Snuggles down on the berth again. "You probably startled him or somethin'. Cats are attracted to tiny things that move fast. No offense."

But obviously Crumplezone was very much offended. ["Why in the name of Primus' life fuel do you have that anyway?"] He demanded, pointing to Snuggles, who stared at him unwaveringly with wide golden eyes.

"Cyclonus is keeping him as a pet." Demolishor answered before Cyclonus could, grinning widely at the argument he sensed coming.

Crumplezone could not have looked more indignant if he heard that Cyclonus was keeping a human as a pet. ["WHAT? That thing just attacked me!"] He stated again. ["And you want to keep it? Are you trying to kill me?"]

"No!" Cyclonus snapped, "I want him, and I'm keeping him. End of discussion." Crumplezone fumed and stomped into a corner of the desk, hiding under some contraption of Cyclonus'. There, Demolishor could see him curled up, sulking. "You're just jealous." Cyclonus stated, and was promptly answered with a string of swearing and profanity - both Cybertronian and human - that made both Demolishor and Cyclonus' jaw drop in absolute shock. _Where in the world does ne pick up such words? _Demolishor thought as Crumplezone finished his outburst with a threat concerning an anatomical position that was entirely impossible, but it would have been _very_ interesting if the Mini-Con ever decided to try and put Cyclonus in such a position.

It took Cyclonus a full three minutes to close his jaw. He blinked frantically for a few moments, looking so utterly amazed that Demolishor once again had to hold back a laugh. Thankfully, his friend was jerked out of his dazed stupor with a rather loud meow from Snuggles, who was apparently demanding attention. Two heads turned towards him, and he meowed again. "I think he's hungry." Demolishor said, ignoring the muffled outburst from Crumplezone at the statement.

"Hmm, I think you're right." Cyclonus muttered, going to a cabinet and rummaging around.

"What are you looking for?" Demolishor asked, wondering what Cyclonus could possibly have that could solve their newest problem.

"Some energon," was Cyclonus' muffled reply.

"_What?_ Don't feed him energon you moron!" Demolishor shouted, pulling Cyclonus back with a glare. The helicopter gave him an equal glare, causing Demolishor to sigh. "Don't you know what happens to organics if they're fed too much energon?" Demolishor demanded, and he watched Cyclonus' angry expression fade to be replaced with his confusion.

"What?" Cyclonus asked, cocking his head to one side like a bemused dog.

So that was the problem. Cyclonus _didn't_ know. Demolishor sighed and tried to explain, "Have you ever heard something called an energy drink?" Cyclonus nodded. "Well, when a human drinks too much of it, it can lead to a variety of problems, namely abnormal heart rhythms, sleeplessness, dehydration, and if the dosage is high enough, seizures from something called a 'crash and burn'."

Cyclonus raised an optic ridge. "Yeah. So?"

"Energon is stronger than any energy drink the humans can ever make." Demolishor explained. "Even though it has none of the ingredients a energy drink does, it has all the side effects of an overdose. Too much energon consumption for any organism leads to an excessively fast heart rate and eventually the heart overworks itself and stops." Cyclonus looked a little sick as Demolishor went on. "Yeah, so no energon."

Cyclonus swallowed and tapped his pede in thought. "Then what would you feed it?" He asked, as if he fully expected Demolishor to know the answer to that question.

Demolishor sighed in exasperation and shook his head. "How am I supposed to know?" He asked, throwing out his arms for emphasis. "Go ask a human or something." He added in a teasing tone, which quickly morphed into horror when he saw Cyclonus' face light up as if he just had an epiphany.

"That's it Demolishor!" He shouted, grabbing Snuggles and running for the door. "That's exactly what we need to do! Ask a human!" He ran out, leaving Demolishor to stare at a closing door once more in confusion.

"Wait Cyclonus!" He was shouting a second later, almost breaking down the door in his haste to catch up with his friend. "I wasn't being serious you idiot!" He yelled down the halls, trying to catch up with the helicopter before he killed himself.


	3. Humans and Cat Food

**A/N:** Ahhhh, this is so late! I'm sorry, had a case of real life and some writer's block, and boy do those make a terrifying team when they're together. As a gift, I put the beginning of chapter 4 at the end, so enjoy!

* * *

"Seriously Cyclonus, this is a stupid idea."

"It was _your_ stupid idea."

"It wasn't even an idea! I was joking!"

"Too late now."

Demolishor scowled at Cyclonus, who was currently leaning over the edge of the cliff and looking for the humans. The helicopter had the bright idea to warp them on top of a giant rock that overlooked the path that the human children often took to get to the Autobot base. Demolishor had objected to going after the humans that had personally befriended the Autobots instead of some random human off the street, but Cyclonus would hear none of it. Snuggles mewed in Cyclonus' arms, looking fearfully at the ground far below.

He sighed and crossed his arms, looking around warily. He was not sure if they were close enough for the Autobots to notice them - something Cyclonus seemed to not care about - and he did not want to be around if Optimus and Jetfire decided to come around and play Exterminator. Why would the humans be outside anyway? Usually they were inside the base at this time of day -

"There they are!" Cyclonus shouted, causing Demolishor to jump. So much for being inside, he guessed. "Here Demolishor, take Snuggles while I round up some meatbags." Before the tank could even object, Cyclonus shoved the cat into his arms and leaped off the rock, transforming into his helicopter mode and flying off.

Demolishor glared at the retreating vehicle, wishing dearly he could throw something at it. Maybe he should just take the cat in his arms and chuck it at Cyclonus; he had no doubt that he could hit him. But then again, it was just an animal, it had no idea what was happening. He glanced at Snuggles, and Snuggles glanced back. Then he let out another mew. Demolishor sighed, stupid cats that were too damn cute. He looked up and saw Cyclonus rapidly approaching the five dots that were the humans. Despite them being humans, Demolishor was at a loathe to let Cyclonus charge into anything alone. "Alright Snuggles, hold on." He said before he jumped off the ledge himself.

He heard Snuggles yowl and cursed as a sharp set of claws dug into his chest. His pedes hit the rock and he quickly activated the tank trends on his legs so he wouldn't fall over. As quickly as he could go without falling, he raced down the slope towards the forest below. Snuggles didn't even move or make a sound, he seemed frozen against Demolishor's chest. Soon enough they hit the ground, roughly a hundred yards away from the humans and Cyclonus.

Demolishor quickly tucked Snuggles under one arm and charged through the forest, breaking down trees and anything else in his way. He saw Cyclonus transform and dive down, accompanied a few moments later by the screams of the humans. Crashing through the forest a few seconds later, Demolishor took in the scene. The dark human was laying on the ground, most likely stunned, the blond and female humans were hiding behind a tree in front of Cyclonus, and the tall and fat ones were standing out in the open, well in Cyclonus' view. Even as Demolishor watched, the three Mini-Cons powerlinxed into Perceptor. Before Demolishor could shout a warning, Perceptor leaped for Cyclonus.

But the gunner did not need help, apparently. "Aw, shutup," he said without turning and backhanded Perceptor in mid-jump, sending the combiner flying into a tree.

"Perceptor!" The blond shouted and ran forward with something orange in his hand.

"Hey!" Cyclonus aimed his arm gun at him. "Keep that bird outta your servo before I blast ya'."

"Rad, do as he says." The female called worriedly, watching Cyclonus.

"Yeah, listen to your girlfriend fleshing." Cyclonus grinned widely, powering up his gun until it glowed a soft pink from the built up energy.

Rad opened his mouth to retort, then his eyes flicked to the space behind Cyclonus and he noticed Demolishor. He swallowed and carefully pocketed Laserbeak.

Cyclonus' grin nearly split his face in half. "There ya' go. Now, meatbags, I'm not here to fight, I just gotta ask a question."

The dark one sat up and Glared at Cyclonus. "Well you can go tell Megatron to take his questions and shove them right up his -"

"I'm not here for Megatron you stupid glitchheads!" Cyclonus interrupted, his optics flashing angrily.

The humans looked doubtful, not that Demolishor could blame them. He quickly put Snuggles down and walked forward into full view. He stood beside Cyclonus and leaned to the side. "Why don't you tell them about Snuggles?" He whispered quietly into his friend's audio receptor.

"I will," Cyclonus hissed back. "But first I need to -" at that moment he realized Demolishor's arms were empty. "Where's Snuggles?" He demanded.

"What is _that?_" The female suddenly shouted, grabbing the attention of both the Decepticons. Snuggles had waddled into view and was half-crouched on the ground, his golden eyes watching Billy and Fred intently.

"Oh my god it's a mutant cat run for your lives!" Fred screamed and turned and ran, despite everyone else's shouts for him to stop. He only got a few feet though before he was knocked down. "AHHHHH! Help me!" he screamed and tried to wriggle out from underneath the paw that was gently pinning him down.

Snuggles looked at the creature squirming beneath his paw and flicked his ears in an almost bemused manner. This creature was almost exactly like the other one he had tackled earlier! After a moment of deliberation, he gently bent down and grasped the back of the creature's clothes between his teeth. Then he turned around and trotted back to Cyclonus, ignoring the screams of "It's gonna eat me!". He stopped and sat down a few feet away from Cyclonus and dropped the creature in-between his paws; then he meowed, obviously looking for praise.

Demolishor and Cyclonus could not have looked more surprised than if Snuggles had just spoken fluent Cybertronian. Cyclonus then threw back his head and laughed. Cyclonus' laughter was famous for conceivably being the only thing that could cause audio receptors to malfunction, and this was no exception. Demolishor, the humans, and even Snuggles winced at the noise and Demolishor edged away from him a little. Slaggit, now his audio receptor was filled with static. He smacked the side of his head a few times and the noise receded somewhat, and he told his auto repair systems to fix the rest. "Hahaha! Great Snuggles! Aren't you a smart kitty?" Cyclonus said, bending down and petting Snuggles between his ears. "You see Demolishor, not all Earth creatures are idiots, I'm telling you!"

"You're selling blue?" Demolishor asked in confusion, trying to make sense of what he just heard.

Cyclonus sighed and rolled his optics. Then, turned once again to the humans. "Now meatbags, like I said, I gotta ask you something. What do these felines consume for energy?"

Five equally blank stares looked at him. Demolishor resisted the urge to facepalm and piped up, "He means what do they eat?" He sighed inwardly, why was it that every time Cyclonus said something semi-intelligent it was in the presence of those who would have no idea about what he was saying?

There was an odd silence that lasted for nearly half a minute, then Alexis spoke. "They eat cat food, obviously. The stuff you get at a store."

"I see," Cyclonus said, looking thoughtful. If Cyclonus could ever look thoughtful, that was. He seemed to be pondering over the information, while Demolishor kept an eye of the humans. The tank told himself to not think about their newest problem and let Cyclonus figure it out for himself. After all, this was all Cyclonus' stupid idea, and Cyclonus could be the one to fix all of the problems that came with his stupid idea. Snuggles just sat on the ground, occasionally sniffing the terrified Fred.

"Why do you want to know?" Carlos asked suspiciously, glaring at Snuggles.

"Cause the cat's hungry and I gotta feed 'im."

Rad was certain he nearly dislocated his jaw. It certainly made a loud pop when it fell open. Was Cyclonus implying that -? No. It just wasn't _Decepticon_ of him. Decepticons didn't keep pets, did they?

Finally Cyclonus brightened and snapped his fingers, or at least that's what it looked like. "Got it! Thanks meatbags, you've been unusually helpful. C'mon Demolishor, we got places to go!" He quickly scooped up Snuggles and activated the warp gate, taking them back to the moon base.

The silence that the Decepticons left in their wake was a large one. All of the kids had equally shocked expressions on their faces, and Rad was searching his mind for _something_ to say, _something_ that would make the past ten minutes logical, and he was coming up blank. Finally he got his jaw to work, and he blurted out the first thing that came to his head. "Did he just thank us?"

The sound of his voice seemed to snap everyone out of their shock and at once they started talking. "Did he say we were being helpful?" Billy asked soon after.

"Did he even blow a _single_ thing up?" Carlos demanded, turning in circles and gaping at the fact that there was no visible damage or any fires in the surrounding areas.

["Did he really say that some Earth creatures were smart?"] Perceptor questioned, breaking apart into the Street Action Team once more.

"Was he calling it _Snuggles?_" Alexis asked, and her question brought on another round of silence.

During this particular silence, Fred managed to stop shaking and actually stand up, although his legs were wobbling. He stumbled and grabbed a hold of Billy for support, but the taller kid pushed him away in disgust. "Do you think we should tell the Autobots?" Fred whimpered as he stumbled and amazingly didn't fall.

["I don't think they will quite believe us,"] Grindor answered uneasily.

"I can't say I blame them," Billy remarked. "_I_ can hardly believe it myself."

Suddenly Laserbeak started beeping inside Rad's pocketed, signaling an incoming call. "We're late," Rad announced, grabbing the bird. "They'll think we were kidnapped or something, come on." He quickly clambered onto High Wire in his bike mode, while everyone else got onto their respective modes of transportation. Soon they were on their way to the base again, but every one of them were not paying attention to the world around them. They were all thinking about their encounter with the Decepticons and trying to make sense of it. And they were failing quite horribly.

* * *

"Okay Cyclonus, this if your stupidest idea ever."

"How come Demolishor?"

"We are going to be seen. We're attracting a crowd already!"

"Bah, the humans won't notice anything, we're in vehicle mode. We're in _disguise_."

"Cyc, I am a missile tank and you are a helicopter. Missile tanks and helicopters do _not_ park outside of humans stores!"

"Really? You sure?"

"Yes I'm sure!"

"Ah, that could be a little problem then."

Demolishor almost groaned out loud. "Little problem" didn't even cover a third of it. He and Cyclonus were sitting side by side, in their vehicles modes, taking up almost an entire row of parking spaces outside of a human store. They had a sizable crowd in front of them, which was steadily getting bigger. Some were taking pictures, but most were just gaping. Cyclonus had originally been for warping into the parking lot, punching a hole in the ceiling, grabbing some cat food and leaving, but Demolishor was very much against it. After all, humans were not supposed to know they existed, according to Megatron. So they were here in vehicle mode, waiting to Blackout to come back with some cat food (Crumplezone was still angry with Cyclonus and had thrown a gadget at his bulk's optic when they had asked him to do the job). Blackout was a little confused, but went along with it anyway. Snuggles was actually locked inside of Cyclonus' cockpit, mewing loudly and trying to get out, much to Cyclonus anxiety. Demolishor just thanked the fact that the glass on Cyclonus' windshield was totally opaque.

"Demmy, how long has it been?"

"Six Earth minutes and twenty-two seconds," Demolishor rattled off immediately.

"Primus, Blackout needs to hurry up!"

"Hey, be thankful he's helping us in the first place!"

Cyclonus did not answer, instead glaring at the humans (as much as a helicopter could glare anyway) that were inching closer to touch him. He felt a thump inside of his body and he heard a muffled meow, and shifted a little to get Snuggles to shut up. Suddenly the humans were gasping and asking one another if the helicopter just moved. Cyclonus froze and did not need to look to know that Demolishor was glaring right at him (as much as a missile tank could glare anyway). He could see a few other humans walking around Demolishor, and one boldly reached out and touched him. Demolishor did not make a sound, but Cyclonus knew that his friend had to be absolutely disgusted. He almost snickered, but at that moment his circuits felt a light touch on his right side, and he stiffened. The humans were rubbing their filthy little paws on him! "Get yer hands offa me right now before I blast you all!" he screeched before he could stop himself.

The humans, like so many startled bolt bats, yelled and ran off in all different directions, fleeing from the angry talking helicopter as fast as possible. Cyclonus watched them go smugly, then he realized what he had done. _Oops._

"Real smooth Cyclonus," Demolishor growled._ "Real_ fragging smooth."

"I'm sorry?" Cyclonus replied, his tone making it a question.

Demolishor just gave him an actual growl in return, and at that moment Blackout thankfully appeared, carrying two bags of cat food under his arms. "Is this what you asked for?" He asked, now the only humans in the parking lot near the two military vehicles.

"If it isn't then that's too bad. Quick, let's go before someone calls the authorities." Demolishor answered and the hatch on top popped open. "Get in," he ordered, and Blackout quickly obeyed. The Mini-Con threw the cat food in and climbed in, shedding his human hologram once he was away from prying eyes. In seconds the Decepticons warped out again, leaving more silence and confusion in their wake.

* * *

Comments are always loved and appreciated!


	4. Almost Busted

**A/n: Ugh, this is a bit suckish. Mainly dialogue, but we get some Starscream interaction!**

* * *

The warp went about as smoothly as one could imagine, however Demolishor's fuel pump was hammering against his chest until they appeared on the warp platform. He and Cyclonus had been gone for quite some time, and he was praying to whatever deity that happened to be listening at the moment that Megatron had not noticed, since he was still supposed to be on monitor duty. A quick scan quickly revealed the Megatron was still in the medical bay though, still unconscious from the injuries that Demolishor had patched up.

"Out, Snuggles!" Cyclonus yelled while Demolishor had been lost in his thoughts. The doors on the helicopter flew open and the giant kitten almost immediately tumbled out with a surprised mew. The gunner transformed and glared at Snuggles, who seemed to be more confused than anything. "Bad kitty! Making all that noise in front of the meatbags! Now we got caught," he shook his finger at the kitten, who tried to bat at the digit as if it were a toy.

Demolishor sighed loudly, effectively getting Cyclonus' attention. "Well who was the dumbaft who decided to yell at the humans in the middle of public?" He demanded, keeping still as Blackout unloaded his cargo of cat food.

Green optics glared at him to no effect. "It was perfectly reasonable! They were touching me! Those filthy organics were rubbing their stupid hands all over me, Primus if those Autobot kids are the shining examples their race then those humans just need to go off and die."

Finally Demolishor was able to transform and he just crossed his arms and decided that arguing wasn't worth it. He never quite understood the almost phobia-like behavior Cyclonus often had towards humans. Granted, he was perfectly happy with ambushing them for his own warped sense of amusement, but Cyclonus was weird like that and the tank had stopped trying to second-guess his friend's personality changes a long time ago. Instead he focused on the bigger issue at hand. "So hard these enough or what?" He asked, twitching his foot to indicate the cat food bags. They were awfully tiny and he didn't want to end up accidently stepping on them.

Cyclonus frowned and kneeled down so he could view the bags better. Snuggles had to scramble aside to avoid getting squashed by the Decepticon's rump, and Demolishor couldn't tell whether he was amused or irritated at the scene. If Cyclonus wanted to keep his pet for any amount of time then he had to very quickly learn not to sit or step on him. "That's weird," Cyclonus said, propping his chin on one hand and staring at the cat food as if he could find the secrets of the universe hidden within their gaudy labeling. "They should be bigger, I mean, look at Snuggles! This is hardly any food for him!"

"It would be a substantial amount of food if Snuggles—" he tried not to grimace at the name "—was the size of a regular Earth cat. Since he is _not _and is quite a bit _bigger _then his food should be bigger."

"Oooh," Cyclonus said as if the thought had not once crossed his mind. And knowing Cyclonus, it hadn't. There was a long beat of silence. "Then we should get bigger food for him, right?"

"Yes, but according to Blackout those were the biggest size he could get."

The Mini-Con decided to add his two cents. ["And I don't want to go back there. Humans are creepy when they gather in large crowds."] He shuddered. ["Why don't you make the food bigger or something?"]

"No, you're just giving him ideas!" Demolishor hissed but he was drowned out by Cyclonus' yell.

"That's a perfect idea Blackout! And we even have that busted machine thing on Earth that blew up Snuggles in the first place. We could just go there and make it enlarge this food or something so we have enough!"

It was a surprisingly sound idea, which was a rarity from Cyclonus. He seemed to be looking over one major detail, however. "The Autobots destroyed it, remember?" Demolishor asked, giving Cyclonus a look that said he should have known that, seeing as the event happened only hours earlier.

"Oh yeah…" Cyclonus murmured, scratching his helmet. "But…it wasn't a bad explosion. And you're good with fixing stuff, Demmy, you can repair it!"

"What?" Demolishor yelled, "I am not about to go back there!

"Why not?" Cyclonus asked, optics wide in confusion. Demolishor smacked his hand against his forehead. "Hey Demmy, y'feeling alright there? You shouldn't be hitting yourself—"

"Our battle was not exactly quiet," Demolishor interrupted before his headache could go further. "No doubts there are multiple humans at the sight now and we can't afford to get caught now. Besides, my maintenance skills are amateur, at best."

"I wouldn't doubt that for a second," Starscream said, suddenly poking his head around the doorway.

Cyclonus nearly bowled Demolishor over in his attempt to hide Snuggles and the cat food behind his legs. "Hey Screamer, what's up?" He asked brightly, a false cheer in his voice.

Starscream raised an optic ridge but wisely chose not to say anything. He stepped further into the room and Demolishor noticed that he was favoring one of his arms slightly. "I was looking for Demolishor here, since the wound on my arm got torn open again." Now that he mentioned it there was some energon flowing out from between his fingers.

The tank made an exasperated noise and bent to look closer at it. "I told you not to move it," he growled and grabbed one of his medical tools from his subspace compartment. "Why does no one in this base listen to me?"

"Probably because a half dead boltbat has more logic circuits than you," Starscream snapped, trying to jerk his arm away as Demolishor poked the instrument into it.

Cyclonus frowned. "Hey, don't be messing with Demmy, Screamer. He was way smarter than you today, when you just walked into that shrapnel grenade."

The Seeker glared at Cyclonus, but like all glares it just bounced off of him as if he had an invisible shield around him. "I noticed that you weren't top of your class either, when—OW! Fraggit Demolishor, what the hell are you doing?"

"Stop jerking around before I lace your energon with taephilum," Demolishor replied in a voice that brooked no nonsense. "You tore the cluster of nerves circuits right here, which is why it hurts to move your arm. You should be back in your berth, and now I'll have to spend over—"

"What in the world is _that?_" Starscream suddenly yelled, pointing at the ground with his free arm.

"Mrrrow."

Demolishor froze as if his motor circuits had just shut down; Cyclonus made an odd, hysterical sound that resembled "Nothing!" The Decepticon second-in-command stared at Snuggles as if he had never seen such a thing before in his life."I'm serious Demolishor, tell me what that is."

"A hallucination," Demolishor said so quickly that it took a moment for his processor to catch up with him. "You're having an advanced hallucination and it's a side effect from the taephilum I gave your earlier."

Starscream rolled his optics. "Demolishor I'm not an i—" A spark crackled up his arm and just like that he slumped down in Demolishor's arms, completely unconscious.

"Whoa, what was that?" Cyclonus asked, his optics growing huge.

At first Demolishor didn't answer, but once he managed to throw Starscream over his shoulder he explained, "One of those circuits led straight to his processor. All you have to do is give it a minor shock and the bot will pass right out." He looked down at Snuggles. "Now get that thing out of here before someone else comes!" He shook his head as Cyclonus scooped up the kitten and took off, disappearing in a second. He signed and started to make his way to the med bay. hopefully Megatron would still be asleep when he got there.

* * *

**A/N: There is no official medic among the Decepticons in Armada, so my headcanon says that Demmy was the poor soul who had to fix everyone's injuries.**


End file.
